The Summer Of The Butterflies
by Summersetlights
Summary: Eli compares an incident that happened when he was little, to the situation he is in now.


**_Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi_**

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><p><em><strong>I. Butterflies<strong>_

When Elijah Goldsworthy was little, he loved watching the monarch butterflies flutter around his head and dance around; flower-to-flower. He loved the color of their wings and the way they'd fly around, every movement graceful. He'd even have his little net out, the same one he'd use to clean out the pool, and he'd run throughout his yard, his arm high in the air, and the net simply moved with every step he took.

Of course, he never caught anything. He didn't understand that the holes on the net were too big and that he was way too loud to catch a butterfly, or anything for that matter. His small, pudgy hands would grasp around the net, and much to his dismay, all he found was air and little bugs who were trying to squirm away from the hand. Eli spent his days out in the sun, the net in his hand, and a giant grin on his face. Attempting to capture butterflies were once the soundtrack of his summer.

But, one day, little Elijah Goldsworthy noticed that there were no butterflies outside. Sure, there were one or two, but not the millions that were usually there. He was stumped. He had thought that maybe, just maybe, it was his fault that they were gone. Maybe he did something? Maybe they didn't like him anymore? He didn't understand. So, without coming to a conclusion, he went to Bullfrog.

"They are leaving. They're are flying down South to keep warm." Bullfrog said, a gentle smile showing on his face. He knew how much his son liked those butterflies. He knew that "catching" them was something he loved to do.

"But-but," Eli's young mind still couldn't understand why they couldn't say, "I could keep them warm!"'

Bullfrog chuckled, his laugh gritty and rugged, "Well, I'm not sure that would work. These butterflies can't survive in the cold. If they stay here, they'll die."

"Die?" Eli gasped, his mouth falling open in surprise, "I don't want them to die!"

"That's why we need to let them go. They'll be back soon." And with that, Bullfrog Goldsworthy stood up and walked over to the kitchen sink to get a drink of water, but before he did, he paused, and picked an object up. This object was bright purple and Eli looked at it, squinting his eyes.

"I got this for your mom! She asked for duct tape for the spine of one of her books, because, as you know, duct tape fixes everything. But I got her duct tape in purple. Isn't it cool?" The roll of tape bounced around his fingers and Eli stared at it with curiosity. He answered his father's question by nodding. Bullfrog turned back to the sink and started running the water.

While Bullfrog chugged his water, Eli sprinted out the door.

The purple tape in his hands.

.

.

He had finally caught a monarch. It wiggled around in the net and Eli tried to calm it using soothing words, but the creature became panicked. Its wings buzzed and Eli became worried that the butterfly would get hurt. So, he hurried his movements.

He ripped a small piece of tape off the roll and set it down on the wooden picnic table, the sticky side up. Eli slowly and carefully stuck his hand in the net, and he gently scraped up the butterfly. He winced as the butterfly squirmed in his hand. He made sure that his grip was relaxed enough so that the butterfly wouldn't get crushed, and he slowly set the butterfly in the piece of tape. The wings spread out and flush to the tape.

Eli grinned and was happy with himself. He could now take care of this butterfly and he'd be the best caretaker ever. He'd feed the creature and help him fly.

But suddenly, the butterfly was obviously trying to be set free. Its limbs thrashed around and his wings buzzed with an almost dead energy. Eli gasped in horror and flung himself to the duct tape, trying desperately to take the creature off. But with a harsh tug, the butterfly came off.

With one wing still attached to the tape.

Eli dropped the injured butterfly and backed away, terrified and sick to his stomach as he looked at what he did. All he wanted to do was keep the butterfly and take care of it in the winter. He didn't mean to hurt it.

Tears streaming down his cheeks, he ran into his house, the tape in his hand. He wanted to puke because he could still see the butterfly squirming on the sticky surface. And he wanted to save it.

When Eli found his father, he threw the purple duct tape at him and yelled, "You told me that it would fix everything!"

And with that, he ran out the door.

And that was the first time that Elijah Goldsworthy ever hated himself.

**_II. Clare Edwards_**

As Elijah Goldsworthy sits in the hospital, he thinks of that butterfly. And he realizes something.

Clare Edwards is the butterfly.

She's beautiful and stunning and so fragile. And he was just Eli. He was Eli and he had tried to not hurt her. In fact, he had tried to fix their relationship and make her stay. He had tried so hard. He had gone out of his way to do so.

But, in the end, the ending result was horrible.

Eli's leg throbbed and sputtered pain, but he couldn't pay attention to that. All he knew and focused on was the fact that he was the duct tape. He was that sticky surface that people got caught on. People died and suffered on his account. He was disgusting and horrible.

He had hurt innocence to make it stay.

And not for the first or last time, Eli hated himself.

Turning on his side, he groaned and wished the images of the girl he was in love with would go away.

Attempting to do that, he took his mind back to the summer of butterflies. The summer where everything was simple and pure. The summer where the flowers seemed brighter and the sky seemed clearer.

The summer where he was pure and wasn't the monster that he had become.

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><p><em><strong>...Sorry that it's depressing.<strong>__**Review? :)**_


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